!10 Things to do after being Dumped!

1. Buy a goldfish name it after her and keep overfeeding till she becomes really fat. Then you can start scowling saying… “So much for your waistline. See, I still take care of you”

2. Start collecting teeth from a dentist write her name on it and leave it with your card wherever you go.

3. Drink beer and every time you burp keep saying “Damn she dumped me”

4. End every conversation with the words. “And so it ends like how she dumped me”. (Trust me, it gains a lot of sympathy and annoyance from peer groups and even better on the not-so-peer groups)

5. Start eating things that are totally unnecessary or what you hate (edible ones like, raw garlic, castor oil, throw the banana and eat the peel, so on and so forth). While you eat it shout not too loudly in public “For you, <> my love”

6. Propagate something really stupid she used to do (like sniffing walls, leaving cigarette buds on your toes when one hand holds beer and the other some other snack. If you are talented you could shift objects and appendages too.)

7. Sing the worst song 24 hours not the whole song just 4 words from it and end it with her name.

8. If it’s some political campaign period, Scribble “Post your Votes for My Love - ” wherever you can. Especially near an ugly politician.

9. Act like you are a Gremlin plotting to steal everyone’s happiness just because your love got stolen. Best served if you have a secret tree into whose hollow trunk you could get inside and carve hate messages.

10. Turn starry eyed at every ledge, high corner of the building, open window. Move towards it like it was enticing you towards it, the Jaws-open-type-effect. Keep uttering, “Coming to you, my love, ”. Best done in the middle of large groups of people, during important conversations, meetings, etc.


~fEelix
PS: One of my friends was asking me "Oh, what do I do now, Felix?... what do I do?" at the rate of 17 times a second. I thought maybe there are a lot of friends like him out there, who could use this non-sensical adivce or just simle it away. There are things in life that require us to keep a hold on. Like admiring stupidity for starters :)